We often speak about how we may not feel fulfilled in our relationships. This could be because we don’t realize how important it is to provide for ourselves and not only for the other person. Our partner may feel his/her needs are all important and then we adapt by making our wants and needs less important. If you are someone who is inclined to want to please your significant other and you go out of [...]
In a healthy intimate relationship ideally there are two separate individuals, both of whom need space for themselves, sensitivity to their feelings and support for their interests and goals. Affection, sexual responsiveness and warmth may also be among the primary expectations. There is nothing negative in wanting all this from a partner. What is required however, to really make your relationship successful, is to consider your partner’s needs at the same time. What this means [...]
A young boy comes to his child therapy session very upset and crying. We have already established a relationship over time. He has pushed another child off a swing at school and is being suspended from school for a day. He is worried that his mom will yell and not let him go to a friend’s party. In child therapy first we talk about how upset he is, and I try to help him feel [...]
Reading books on parenting can be very helpful. They can tell you about the stages of development in childhood and what to expect as your child grows. They can tell you about toddlerhood and how different it is from infancy. They can talk about gender differences and why little boys may be more active and harder to manage physically. They can also tell you about the strains parenthood can put on a marriage when two [...]
People often ask why does psychodynamic therapy take so long when there are other forms of therapy that can happen in a much shorter time frame. Here is one answer. It has taken many years to become the person you are. Usually by your mid thirties you are pretty cooked. You have developed a character style, a way of being with others, based on the climate you grew up in and your innate personality. When [...]
Often parents wish to give their children EVERYTHING. They want to make their children’s life beautiful; they want it to be free of narrowness and deprivation. They want to give them what they may never have had. They feel generous and loving and they hope their love will nurture and help grow their kids into full and effective human beings. You may ask, so what would be wrong with that? Well, in principle, not much. [...]
Aches and pains are not always just what they seem to be. There are times when your aches and pains represent something deeper that you may not be aware of. Physical manifestations can represent aspects of emotional turmoil or conflict that you have not addressed or are not able to translate into words: headaches, stomach tensions, intestinal problems, tightness in muscles, skin problems and more. Psychotherapy or counseling, that comes from a holistic perspective, will [...]
Everyone wants to find happiness. Very often, we go looking for things that we think will make us happy. Sometimes it works. We go on a trip we have always wanted to go on or, we finally buy that perfect thing or things we have always wanted. We think that if only our partner or friends would respond in a certain way to us that would be the source of ongoing happiness. What we often [...]
To connect with your essential joy, you need to let go of resentments and anger from the past. Why do we stop ourselves from sharing our true thoughts and feelings? How do we start to be more open to ourselves and to others? There are many possible answers. Let’s begin with old hurts and resentments. When people in our past have not lived up to our expectations, when they have treated us in ways that [...]