Everyone wants to find happiness. Very often, we go looking for things that we think will make us happy. Sometimes it works. We go on a trip we have always wanted to go on or, we finally buy that perfect thing or things we have always wanted. We think that if only our partner or friends would respond in a certain way to us that would be the source of ongoing happiness.
What we often discover is that this kind of happiness does not last. The trip is over and we have happy memories, but they are memories. Or, we now have the things we want and enjoy using them and having them, but the longing to feel satisfied and happy is still there.
What we seek is inside us…
What is sometimes hard to grasp is that what we seek is really inside us. It is an emotional state, a state of being that we are all born with, but because of different experiences and the need for internal protections, we are not able to go there or stay there. We do not understand that what brings this state of well being into connection with ourselves, is often just the ability to be in the moment with our feelings.
What is so fascinating and inspiring about being around babies and very young children is the way they are so in touch with their aliveness and are in the moment. They are not caught up in over thinking and evaluating decisions, they do not yet doubt themselves or are worried about other’s reactions. They do not yet experience guilt or anxiety the way older children and adults do. They are not focused on what they do not yet have. They are in the moment.
Of course, as adults, our inner and outer lives are infinitely more complex and challenging and we cannot expect to live a life without stress. When we try to avoid the feelings of stress, we may disconnect from ourselves and do not connect to the moment and then life feels uncomfortably unsatisfying.
If we can learn why we are avoiding being in the moment, we can be more open to the moment and more fully alive. There are many paths to finding this kind of inner satisfaction and fulfillment. Dynamic therapy is one path.
Psychotherapy, Upper West Side of Manhattan
Mindfulness is a description used often in describing this state of awareness. Using mindfulness can help you focus your attention on the present moment, and can help you be okay with what you are feeling. Psychotherapy is a useful tool and can help you move toward a place of mindfulness so you can experience life from a more present place.
I have been in private practice for over 25 years and helping individuals and couples move toward a place of mindfulness and presence is a part of my work. I’m looking forward to speaking with you. Click here to contact me to discuss options for therapy.