People often ask why does psychodynamic therapy take so long when there are other forms of therapy that can happen in a much shorter time frame. Here is one answer.
It has taken many years to become the person you are. Usually by your mid thirties you are pretty cooked. You have developed a character style, a way of being with others, based on the climate you grew up in and your innate personality.
When the climate of your earlier development has been less than optimal, when you have not been able to feel fully trusting in the support and caring of others, to change that takes a kind of acculturation over time; like getting used to a new climate. And, you will need trust in order to be open about yourself in order to change what feels important to you. In the relationship with your therapist old fears that you will be disappointed or hurt may arise. Fears that your anger or love will not be well received come into play. At the same time, you are hoping it will be different from the past and want to take the risk. You want change. You want to enjoy your life more, have better relationships, free up your ambitions, your hopes and dreams.
These relationship expectations from the past are always fighting against the wishes for a different present. This is why it takes time to reduce your fears and express your hopes for the possibility of a safe, and trusting relationship. It takes many years to build up defenses. It takes some reasonable amount of time to let them go in order to feel a sense of trust and security about the person you are with.
It will take some time to really feel that your therapist is truly there for you, is not judgmental, is supportive and knowledgeable; a true partner.
Dynamic therapy is not for everyone. It takes courage, perseverance, curiosity and a strong desire to have a fuller, more actualized self and a deeper understanding of what makes you tick, who you really are and who you want to be. This journey called dynamic therapy is emotionally alive; a happening experience. You do not need to wait for it to be over, because you are getting satisfaction all along the way.
Upper West Side Psychotherapist
I have been in private practice on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, NYC, for over 25 years. I provide support and guidance for parents struggling in relationship with their children. Please contact me for more information on my practice.